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Silver Lining
Things happen; many events, hurdles and experiences happen in life- obviously- and will continue in this fashion. I have searched for reasons as to why these “things” happen but, sometimes not a single word can be found to explain why. I believe that the universe, or God, has a divine plan to explain these happenings as our lives continue on and it is for us to find the most positive meaning; a silver lining. Although it may prove rather difficult to overcome many of these happenings and remain strong through the loud storm that may present itself in our lives, I propose that you adamantly attempt to find a deeper meaning or, ‘the silver lining’ in the storm.
Imagine a ship. A rather expensive ship; you are on that ship. It has been some weeks in which you, your shipmates and the crew members have been sailing the beautiful blue ocean. During these weeks, the sun has been shining bright and not a cloud could be found in the sky. During the time of night, the moon illuminates the ocean, reflecting much of the beauty which nature may bless our eyes with. This may describe life most of the time; warm, calm and smooth sailing.
Now imagine for a moment, that there is a storm which presents itself and swiftly swipes through the ocean to carry the ship which you are on, to a specific destination of its own choosing. As the storm passes by it eventually destroys this million dollar ship. The storm passes. A well trained rescue team was able to arrive swiftly to carry the majority of survivors on the ship to safety. The ship was searched high and low by the rescue team but, they were unable to find your living body.
After you awaken from an unconscious state, you search the entire vessel yourself but find it empty with no other life aboard, leaving you shocked, angry and saddened that you were left there. Why me? All that was left was the nonperishable food and the ship, books and yourself. Imagine the engine has been destroyed and you are now stranded in the middle of the deep, blue ocean. As you float along aboard the boat you excitedly set your eyes on land to notice the ship floating further and further away from the land. With each passing moment, hope within you is lost as if it was water on your hands, until land can no longer be seen. Now there seems to be no hope of being rescued, only that which lies dormant inside of you…..
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“I am lost in this ocean. I am lost at sea. No one is around but me. My bones chill under the heat of the sun, as my skin freezes under the moon. There are moments where my eyes can see land, and I count the minutes until I can no longer see it. The ocean is such a tease. The dolphins come to say hello, but leave swiftly as they have their own. The ship and I are nothing to them but a vessel that was broken long ago. There is enough food for weeks and drinks to last. Like my former self, the sharks anxiously wait for my demise, impatiently cackling at me as the wind carries the boat wherever it sees fit. I am now like a bag in the wind.
On any given day I meditate and pray, but have found that hope seems unreasonable and irrational, as there is nothing current but acute pain and desperate wishes. People only listened to me when I presented negativity to them so I curse at God, assuming God may be cursing back at me; at the most I feel that God would listen to that. At times our relationship seems at an impasse; at least from me toward this omniscient being we have all agreed to call God. True faith is tested not before the storm, but during and after it. I remember being so consumed with life’s desires and necessities that I rarely thought about God; outside of Sundays. I really hope he hears my. My faith swings back and forth like this now useless boat in the ocean; it’s all connected. In fact, I realize that my mind mostly focused on God in moments of triumph, and questioned God in times of tribulation. Why me? I always felt closest to God when nothing was there, and now nothing is here; what a hypocrite, I am. I am now part of the natural motion of the earth. No desires, no lust, no need, outside of my need to be on land again. God’s preservation of my body seems a pointless and treacherous torcher. Why me? My preservation here keeps my faith strong towards this- God- as I find we are the only two out here on this boat, in this deep blue ocean. Every day is sunny and every night the ocean is smooth, yet eerily silent. These abundant waters speak to me. I think God is everywhere and always was. Only memories of my past life remain; they are written in eternity and along with my faith, keep me alive within this seemingly unreasonable moment of destruction. I presume these memories were only for my pleasure so I may reflect in these moments of hopelessness. Everything is connected and led to this point in life. They say God is omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent. As the days swing by this knowledge and holding a relentless faith, I now understand that the entity known as God is powerful enough to free me from this desperate situation, God knew I would eventually find my way here and God loves me regardless of how it goes. I try and keep it simple.
My mind recognizes that even if I do survive this ordeal, who but me would really believe what happened here, on this million dollar boat; more memories etched in eternity and all of them only for me. There must be a reason for which I remain in this world; food for sharks and a dramatic comedy for dolphins to enjoy. The search party seems to have given up. The planes pass over my head like a luxurious laughing bird, while the birds do the same. I think to myself how free and wonderful it must be to have wings of the air or sea, so I may have an escape from this once million dollar boat. But the words, they remain; the words on my brain. They are transcribed in pain and in sorrow and written as wishes for today and tomorrow. This hopeless monotony is enough to drive a grown man insane, so combined with faith, the writing keeps me well-balanced. These words may not find another, yet are stuffed in a bottle, floating aimlessly to buoyantly find their way to shore; like this boat and I, they are also bags in the wind. There is hope in the bottle after all; albeit, the smallest amount of hope. I realize there is no one human that can save me, but myself- and the energy which we call God. There is nothing but hope in these words that are placed inside of these bottles. Not for me to be saved, but for me to save someone; someone who may also be stuck in a storm with me. So that someone stuck in a storm can find their way through it. We have not yet found my way home, God and I. Though for now this is home, I firmly believe deep down in the brightest parts of my heart and soul that I will make it back to land. Watch me.”